a girl, interrupted (actually), Musings of.

It's a sad thought that someday we shall all forget. Yes, there are things we want to forget. But there are also moments that we want to remember. And there are those times in our life that simply become unforgettable.

Like insistent vignettes of repressed life events

For the past weeks I've been in a rather disgreeable treatment. I had to take oral steroids because I developed these unknown (non-itchy) rashes that even the doctors could not identify. We went to three different doctors. Needless to say, I almost saw some silver lining when the steroids took effect (the rashes gradually faded away). But my slowly-taking-pace merry-making was short-lived. As soon as I was withdrawing from the meds, new rashes started appearing. And this time, they itched like hell.

So I yearned for Doctor House's medical team. Or even Dr. Cockroach's mad idea. I yearned for the slighest, brilliant, sensible opinion a Pathology student would make out of my conditon. I yearned for a clear diagnosis (and liberty from those medical shenanigans). And I desperately yearned for a treatment.

It was even an inopportune time as I was all stressful with graduation requirements in school and I hardly had time to sleep.

I went back to oral steroids (this time lighter dosage) and now, the rashes are almost gone. Apparently, I had an allergic reaction to some food while I was undergoing the first treatment. That was why during the next treatment, I was strictly (and unfairly! haha) told not to eat seafood, egg, and chicken. Ugh. Imagine how painful my life had been. I could only drool over Jollibee Chicken Joy. Nightmarish. Ugh.

After days of waking up very early in the morning, of following skin cream regimens, of taking two other expensive meds (one of which made me really drowsy during the day--the last thing I needed while finishing my thesis), of almost getting bridget jones-ized (the meds unbelievably increase your appetite), of relentlessly praying that it will all go away...After all those days of disruptions from my normal life...(drum roll) the unsightly rashes finally disappeared.

Confetti. Clap. Clap.

Now, I wish they stay away. For good.

--

We have phases in our life that we wish would be over. Perhaps sooner than we could hope for. Yet these same phases become part of our unforgettable memories. Like recurrent dreams that unusually haunt our waking life. We question them. We attempt to solve the lurking mysteries around them. At times, we push them back. Deep into the recesses of that part of our brain we've arbitrarily labelled "Past". The irony of it all is they will always be there.

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